What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
Reveal Punchline
I'm a cashew!
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I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was...
Reveal Punchline
a whisk I was willing to take.
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Why did the melons plan a big wedding?
Reveal Punchline
Because they cantaloupe!
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Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?
Reveal Punchline
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
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What does a pirate pay for his corn?
Reveal Punchline
A buccaneer!
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What does an angry pepper do?
Reveal Punchline
It gets jalapeño face.
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Do you know why you only make soup with 239 beans?
Reveal Punchline
Because one more would make it too farty!
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Why did the tomato blush?
Reveal Punchline
Because it saw the salad dressing.
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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
Reveal Punchline
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
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I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that...
Reveal Punchline
I may have grater problems.
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Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Reveal Punchline
Because they are made to concentrate.
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I'd like to start a diet, but I've got too...
Reveal Punchline
much on my plate right now.
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, "man, it’s really hot in here."
Reveal Punchline
The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, "WHOA, a talking muffin!"
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Reveal Punchline
BREATH!!
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I cut my finger cutting cheese.
Reveal Punchline
I know it may be a cheesy story but I feel grate now.
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My friend told me that pepper is the best seasoning for a roast,...
Reveal Punchline
but I took it with a grain of salt.
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Why can't you use "Beef stew" as a password?
Reveal Punchline
Because it's not stroganoff.
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Where did you learn to make ice cream?
Reveal Punchline
Sunday school.
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Reveal Punchline
Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup.
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What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?
Reveal Punchline
Make me one with everything.
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My wife told me to rub the herbs on the meat for better flavor.
Reveal Punchline
That's sage advice.
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I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
Reveal Punchline
It was bread in captivity.
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What does a clock do when it's hungry?
Reveal Punchline
It goes back four seconds!
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What is worse then finding a worm in your Apple?
Reveal Punchline
Finding half a worm in your Apple.
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Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
Reveal Punchline
They were cooked in Greece.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
Reveal Punchline
But that's just nuts.
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Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? …
Reveal Punchline
Cause he's a fungi.
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I can't believe someone came into my house last night and stole all my fruit...
Reveal Punchline
I'm peachless!
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