What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Reveal Punchline
Ian.
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To the guy who invented zero...
Reveal Punchline
thanks for nothing.
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All these ladies keep asking Santa Claus for the perfect man.
Reveal Punchline
I almost got kidnapped three times this week!
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My dog accidentally ate a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.
Reveal Punchline
So I took him to the vet - no word yet!
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I was working in a factory making plastic Dracula figures for Halloween.
Reveal Punchline
There were only two of us on the production line, so I had to make every second count.
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What do you do when you're being attacked by a group of clowns?
Reveal Punchline
Go for the juggler.
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My dad fell into an upholstery machine the other day.
Reveal Punchline
Don't worry, he's fully recovered.
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What do you call an Italian barista with Alzheimer's?
Reveal Punchline
Affogato.
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What's the easiest way to make a glowworm happy?
Reveal Punchline
Cut off its tail. It'll be delighted.
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I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
Reveal Punchline
It's a step-by-step guide.
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My wife won't let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.
Reveal Punchline
She is infringing on my right to bear arms.
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What do you get when you tell a dad joke to the creator of The Simpsons?
Reveal Punchline
Matt Groening.
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Hey dad, I'm moving to Switzerland. What do you think I'll enjoy the most about living there?
Reveal Punchline
I don't know, son, but that flag is a big plus.
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My buddy gave me an advanced copy of his book titled Dad Jokes about Wood, Stone, Ice, and Metal.
Reveal Punchline
I flipped through it and was like, wow, these are solid puns.
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Time flies like an arrow in history class, but fruit flies like a banana.
Reveal Punchline
(Historical food for thought!)
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What did one shoe say to the other?
Reveal Punchline
Don't look now, but I think we're being followed.
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What's a scarecrow's favorite piece of clothing?
Reveal Punchline
A crop top
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What do you call a person who plays piano in the morning?
Reveal Punchline
A breakfast Mozart.
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What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Reveal Punchline
Claustrophobic.
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Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween?
Reveal Punchline
They don't like strange people knocking on their doors.
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Why was the agnostic dyslexic insomniac up all night?
Reveal Punchline
He lay awake wondering if there really was a dog.
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Why did the Roman general feel lonely?
Reveal Punchline
He had no Julius to Caesar day with.
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Why did Marie Antoinette fail her cake-baking class?
Reveal Punchline
She lost her head during the final.
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What do you call a monastery that ran out of bread?
Reveal Punchline
Mass confusion!
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Why did the Dalai Lama order a hot dog?
Reveal Punchline
He wanted one with everything!
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How did Vikings communicate across the ocean?
Reveal Punchline
They used Norse code.
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I thought Napoleon was taller, but I guess...
Reveal Punchline
he was actually Bonaparte.
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People say Roman numerals are complex,...
Reveal Punchline
but I figured them out.
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The invention of zero was a huge breakthrough, but...
Reveal Punchline
it meant nothing at the time.
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What do you call a medieval servant who time travels?
Reveal Punchline
A knight shift worker.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many general dad jokes do you have?
We currently have 302+ general dad jokes in our collection, and we add new ones regularly. Download the app to access the complete library!
Are these general jokes appropriate for kids?
Yes! Our general dad jokes are family-friendly and safe to share with kids of all ages. Dad jokes are all about clean, groan-worthy humor.
Can I share these general dad jokes?
Absolutely! Feel free to share these jokes with friends, family, and on social media. You can also save your favorites in our free app.
Where can I find more dad jokes?
Download the Dad Jokes app for access to our entire collection of 20,000+ jokes across 22+ categories, with new jokes added every day.
