Father's Day Dad Jokes
The ultimate collection of dad jokes for Father's Day cards, texts, and celebrations. Browse 49 hand-picked dad jokes perfect for Father's Day cards, texts, and family celebrations.
1
Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive.
2
My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
3
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
4
Child: Dad, make me a sandwich. Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich.
5
A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks...... "Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?
"
6
Hostess: Do you have a preference of where you sit?
Dad: Down.
7
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
8
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
9
My little daughter came to me all excited, saying "Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in June!" "Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me?" I said.
She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers. It's now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won't say where she got them.
10
Dads are like boomerangs.… I hope.
11
Most dads only drink on days that start with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday.
12
Mom has forbidden me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I do, I'm toast! Dad keeps egging me on - he's such a ham!
13
Tomorrow my son and I are getting new glasses. After that, we'll see!
14
Yesterday I was racking up to play pool with my son. He said "Dad, you want a break?
" I said "Why? We just started!"
15
My grandfather always told me to fight fire with fire. Great guy, but terrible fireman!
16
I'm American and I'm sick of people telling us that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world!
17
What's the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?
The first letter!
18
Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?
No sun.
19
I've been trying to come up with a dad joke about momentum . . . but I just can't seem to get it going.
20
"Dad, do you think it's going to snow this winter?
" "I dont know, its all up in the air"
21
What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?
A Popsicle.
22
"Dad, I'm cold."
"Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
23
"I'll call you later."
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
24
Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
25
"I'm sorry." "Hi sorry, I'm dad"
26
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
I don't think they'll fit me.
27
Why are men like lawnmowers?
… They are very hard to get started, they make yucky smells and half the time they don't even work.
28
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?
"
29
I used to love to tell dad jokes.… Dad, come back...
30
Dad told me his Wi-Fi password was "Minnie Mickey Donald Goofy Pluto Huey Dewey Louie and Dublin"... He said he needed eight characters and a capital.
31
If I have twin daughters, I'm going to name one Kate and the other Duplicate!
32
Yesterday I was washing the car with my son.
He said "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
33
Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?
They just want to help you become a groan up.
34
My son asked me to put his shoes on, but I don't think they'll fit me.
35
Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards?
His kid asked him to sit on the deck.
36
How did the dad prank his daughter using fake dog poop on April Fools Day?
He told her to look out for her new sham-poo in the shower.
37
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
38
I tell dad jokes but I have no kids.
I’m a faux pa.
39
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?
" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
40
Why did dad get kicked out of the bakery?
He was loafing around.
41
My dad said I should embrace my mistakes…
So I gave him a hug.
42
How do dads exercise?
They do "diddly-squats."
43
Why don't dads tell secrets on the lawn?
Because the grass has ears.
44
How does a dad change a lightbulb?
"Don't worry, I'll just hold it and the world will revolve around me."
45
Why did dad take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
46
How do you know Dad’s driving?
All the windows are down and the AC’s off to “save gas.
47
Why do dads never get lost?
They’re always “just taking the scenic route.
48
Why did Dad bring an extra sock to golf?
In case he got a hole in one.
49
Dad I’m hungry …
Hi Hungry I'm dad.
Enjoying These Jokes?
Get 19,000+ more in the free Dad Jokes app. Daily notifications, favorites, and AI roasts.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the best dad joke for a Father's Day card?
The best Father's Day dad jokes reference classic dad stereotypes — thermostats, grilling, lawn care, and bad puns. Pick one that matches your dad's personality for a guaranteed eye-roll.
How can I make Father's Day special with humor?
Send a dad joke countdown leading up to Father's Day, include one in his card, or create a 'Dad Joke Championship' at the family gathering where everyone competes to tell the best (worst) joke.
Why are dad jokes the perfect Father's Day gift?
Dad jokes celebrate the very essence of dad humor. Giving a dad his own material back is the most meta Father's Day gift possible — and most dads secretly love being recognized for their comedic 'talent.'
Can I text dad jokes to my dad on Father's Day?
Definitely! Send one joke each hour throughout the day, or start a family group chat joke-off. It's a fun, low-effort way to show you're thinking about him even if you can't be there in person.
Get More Jokes in the App
Love these jokes? Download the Dad Jokes app for 19,000+ jokes, daily notifications, favorites, and more!